Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
