What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Did I show you my penis last night?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize