my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
