drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
