IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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