she was so not down for the gang bang
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize