Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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