No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
