Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
