my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
