96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
