i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
