When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize