But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
