They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
