i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
