new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
