I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
