if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
