I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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