something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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