Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
