I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize