this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize