Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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