grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
