this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize