We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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