Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
