Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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