This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
