You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just come out here and I will go home with you...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize