The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
