I just cut my nipple shaving
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
