I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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