So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
