Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
