dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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