I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
