If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Are my feet made of real feet?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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