we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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