and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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