I must be too annoying 4 u.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
