I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
