I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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