Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
