My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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