I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
