My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
