We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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