god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize