so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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