just come out here and I will go home with you...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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