ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
