I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
