i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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