I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
