Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize