If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
